Mother’s Prototype: Wahlberg and DeMille
[Title Card]
Each of you put sword on thigh
Go back and forth from gate to gate throughout the camp
And slay brother, neighbour, and kin
Scenography (Sc.)
You are in the synogogue
A screen on the wall shows the continuing massacre
You:
Thus says the Lord
Master of Scenarios:
God of Israel
You:
Thus says the Lord
Master of Scenarios:
God of seven-year-old Jewish kids in Pennsylvania
Mother:
What’s the function of this myth?
You:
Where’s Wahlberg?
Master of Scenarios:
Your Rabbi?
You:
Wahlberg!
Where are you?
Sc.
Rabbi Wahlberg is teaching your Hebrew School class
He motions you into his office
A television on the wall (or maybe it’s a window) shows the massacre
You:
(Pacing, looking at the window-screen)
Jesus fucking Christ!
How can this be a useful myth?
Wahlberg:
(Calmly, seriously)
First of all, we don’t say Christ
Christ means “our lord”
We don’t believe Jesus is our lord
You:
I don’t believe our lord is our lord
I mean, for fuck’s sake
You lead the congregation in retelling this story
As an act of solemn worship
Only a god could give such an order
Wahlberg:
You’re still Jewish, Moshe
You:
(Studying Ex 32:27 on the wall)
Thus says the Lord
Thus says the Lord – when?
When did God tell Moses to give that order?
Sc.
We flash on swords entering flesh while the murderers are praying and chanting
“Thus says the Lord”
Slaughter as ritual practice
We see Moses on a rock ledge overlooking the massacre
Master of Scenarios:
Real-time prophecy, I suppose
He’s channelling God, in the moment
You think Moses is lying?
You:
No, I think they made a deal
Master of Scenarios:
Well, it’s open mic night
Show us what you’ve got
Music: Miriam's Theme (first measure only)
[Title card]
You must kill some of your family
Or I will kill all of them
Now go down, Moses
Master of Scenarios:
During our workshop, we will unpack this piece of text
It is part of your revised myth
We’ll interpret this literally and metaphorically
Sc.
Wahlberg’s office is replaced by Cecil B. DeMille and his production staff
They study the massacre, in progress, as if trying to determine how to film it
They watch as giants looking down onto a miniature world
You:
(Now thirteen years old)
Excuse me, Mr. DeMille?
Master of Scenarios:
He doesn’t hear you
You:
Mr. DeMille!
Sc.
Everyone stops and stares at you
This is your moment
You:
In your film
God does the killing
Not the Levites
Master of Scenarios:
As ordered by Moses
As ordered by God
You:
You changed the story
From an act of men
To an act of God
Why did you do that?
DeMille:
Who the fuck are you?
You:
It’s my bar mitzvah
And it’s Jewish custom
On one’s bar mitzvah one can ask any questions
However irreverent
DeMille:
Well, bar mitzvah boy
Which is better and why?!
An act of men or an act of god?
You:
I think it matters
Mother:
Yes, it matters
DeMille:
Of course it matters!
Why do you keep showing up and annoying me?
Do you believe the Sinai story?
You:
It’s a myth
Music: “Why does a holy fuck matter”
(instrumental – reminiscent of “Oh what a beautiful morning”)
Backing musicians:
(Counting down to the start of the song)
One myth
Two myth
Real myth
True myth
DeMille:
So, why does a holy fuck matter?
Sc.
A song and dance routine on the café stage
The performers are the Master of Scenarios, Cecil B. DeMille and the Mother
They organise themselves on stage
‘Soft-shoe’ dancing, in ¾ time
Music:
Backup singers call out “Why” on cue with the lyrics
Master of Scenarios/Mother/DeMille:
(Song and dance)
Why does a holy fuck matter?
Why give this myth the time of day?
Why retell and re-enact this?
Why is it worth the worry and heartache?
Why, when the world is already so gloomy?
Why, when it’s just an ancient story?
Why does a holy fuck matter?
Why give a holy fuck?
